Falling in Love or Peas in My Pocket
My second daughter is a beautiful little Goddess with green, doe eyes that are large and innocent. She has a big heart and a natural way to ooze love by just being in her presence. A powerful, mighty one who hates peas. As a little girl she would hide her peas in her pockets so it looked like she had eaten them. Clever girl until I did the wash. They didn’t give her nourishment in her pocket. She is a super taster and just couldn’t handle the overwhelming flavor!
Falling in love can also be overwhelming as the chemical phenylethylamine or PEA floods the body with its chemical reaction. All those feel good chemical cocktails flowing like a drug. Norepinephrine and dopamine drenching your brain and stimulating you much like chocolate does and there you go falling in love and bonding with another.
If you are unresolved in your ‘bag of shit’ as one of my favorite trauma therapist likes to call our unresolved issues and you are in an unhealthy place in your attachment style and other relationship complexities then this chemical reaction and bonding may cause you to fall in love but your walls cause you to put those PEAS in your pocket and you might just sabotage love.
This chemical reaction is a wonderful part of being in love and Mandy Len Catron has studied the science of it and has created 36 love questions which ensure you will fall in love but staying in love is another matter. Staying in love is an investment in yourself, your partner, and the relationship. A holy trinity. This is the topic for next week. Today is falling in love.
https://www.ted.com/talks/mandy_len_catron_falling_in_love_is_the_easy_part/transcript?language=en
Falling in Love is the Easy Part
Mandy Len Cantron
First we meet that special someone and truly aware people who are doing their work and healing their lives will have self awareness of what they are looking for in a partner and what they want for their own lives. Know yourself and your own standards first.
What do you want in a partner?
Emotional availability?
How much time do you want with that person?
Are you wanting a committed relationship? Marriage or just a steady relationship? Something casual?
What interests would you like to share in a partnership?
Figure yourself out first and please know your own triggers and ‘issues’ before you bond with someone else.
I teach people to know themselves first so you can fall in love with another person and not just attract in a frequency match to your own hidden pain, traumas, and past programming that will set you up for more hurt.
Do your work.
Ask yourself: “Am I falling in love or is this a program running and I’m attracting in another abuser, emotionally unavailable person, a low functioning person, someone who needs me to fill them like an emotional vampire.”
Or, “Is this adding to my life? Do I feel loved and supported? Is this love experience kind and does it have a generous spirit where we both give and invest in each other?”
Learn to know yourself and trust the inspiration you receive to guide you in love. It is beyond chemicals, it is a spiritual journey. It is the flow of life!
Take time to fall in love past the chemical reaction! Let it unfold.
Falling in love is a wonderful moment on the timeline of life. Falling in love with a healthy person can last and be built upon.
If you are falling in love remember not to lose yourself. True love will add value and self discovery. It will be a deepening experience- not confusion where you feel you are needing to talk someone into being with you. True love is an equalizer. You will both give in your own way and there is will acceptance, forgiveness, and kindness.
If you are falling in love with but put the PEAS in your pocket then you may not be ready for love. To love you must be vulnerable and overwhelmed in the beauty of an open heart.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Fall in love with life, with yourself, with your PEA moment at a time, one resolution at a time, one giggle at a time, one moment that takes your breath away and one bit of chocolate at a time! Falling in love is wonderful. Falling in love can be sustained. Trust your journey.
In love,
Rainbow
